deceptiboobies:

“no” i whisper as i hear footsteps approaching my room


puffymind:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.



azunyannakano:

how do i manage to make such a mess of my room when all i do is sit in one spot for 24 hours


  • me: ugh why am i so lonely
  • friend: hey do u wanna go out tonight
  • me: no

  • me: home alone yes time to fuck shit up and be rebellious
  • *uses computer without headphones*

a dramatic re-enactment of my thoughts while showering
  • me: that's not quite hot enough let me just turn it up to boiling lava.
  • me: yes good i shall bathe in the waters of mordor.
  • me: why do we have like 25 different kinds of shampoo?
  • me: i'ma read the back of this.
  • me: lather, rinse, repeat?
  • me: why do i have to repeat is your product so shitty it didn't work the first time?
  • me: hold the fuck up i have to write fanfic in my head real quick.
  • me: if water is a renewable resource does that mean every celebrity i've ever loved has showered in this same water before?
  • me: eheheheheheheheheheh.
  • me: but you didn't have to cUT ME OFF.
  • me: did i already wash my hair?
  • me: i think i did but i don't remember.
  • me: i'ma do it again.
  • me: FUCK I REPEATED.
  • me: well played, pantene pro-v.
  • me: i wonder what it's like to have sex in the shower.
  • me: i bet it's awkward.
  • me: i bet a lot of injuries happen that way.
  • me: okay time to get out.
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: where the fuck is my towel.

why is it october i have done nothing with my year. well i guess it’s too late to start now see you in january.


ladymalchav:

You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.



  • friend: one episode per night
  • me: one season per night

witch-breed:

I am Liz Lemon. Liz Lemon is me.


When writing a long essay in school:

thesherlockfandomisbroken:

Your handwriting in the introduction:

Your handwriting in the last paragraph:

the sad thing is that the handwriting at the bottom is better than mine is usually


 #Literally me when it comes to Julie Andrews


unreasonablyme:

I DIDN’T KNOW DOWNTON AIRED TODAY NO ONE TOLD ME AND IT WASN’T ON MY DASH AND WHY I BLAME YOU ALL I’M CRYING OMG GOING TO WATCH NOW

ASLKFJDSA NO.